Hostel Horror Stories: 3 Experiences I Never Want to Deal With Again

Ah hostels.

I’ll be honest: I love hostels. Just as much now at 28 as I did when I was 22. They are cheap, usually central, a great place to meet people, and, to be honest, I usually feel safer staying in a hostel dorm when I travel alone rather than at a hotel (I like to think that someone would notice if the funny Canadian girl went missing, but that might just be my ego speaking).

Despite my love for hostels they, like everything else, come with their negatives. For the longest time I thought those negatives were limited to loud snorers, party animals that came in hours after I did, or noisy packers catching crack-of-dawn flights. It may have taken six years, but during my latest Southeast Asia adventures I learned the real truth about hostel horror stories. So, for anyone needing a laugh here are my gnarliest hostel stories to date.

Shit Hit the Fan in Hoi An, Vietnam

Yes, my friends, it’s another travel poop story. But I promise it’s not what you think.

This delightful tale took place in a hostel in Hoi An; not a crazy party hostel but one with a good crowd. A bunch of us went out one night. I, along with a couple of my roommates came back just before 2am and fell asleep. Only to be woken up an hour later by two young men entering the room. One was another roommate, the other was a friend. While they tried to be quiet there was no ignoring the horror in one’s voice when he whispered that he needed a shower. By this point the three of us already in our beds were awake and asked what happened.

Turns out a couple other hostel goers decided to get freaky in another dorm. Anal kind of freaky. And, shit happened. Literally everywhere. (Why they would do this in a hostel in the land known for tummy troubles is completely beyond me). But, it was so bad that they had to evacuate the dorm in the middle of the night. Which is why this poor guy was now crashing in our dorm and taking a much needed shower after having to clean a stranger’s crap off his bag at 3am. In case you were wondering, nobody really knew who the girl was; she seemingly vanished. The guy, however, got a lot of weird looks the next morning.

Let’s talk YELL about Sex in Hue, Vietnam

I think I might be one of the luckiest people in the world because it was only after six years of travelling that I had to deal with a couple having sex in my dorm. But I paid for that luck bigtime by having to deal with really loud, angry sex two nights in a row. This special couple stumbled in drunkenly on Halloween and decided to get freaky in the sheets. But while the moaning and sighing was bad enough, things obviously took a turn for the worst when they started screaming at each other. She started crying, he started swearing. Oh, and did I mention this was in a 12 bed dorm? Lights were flicked on, there was more yelling, a lot of “shut the f*** up ‘s” and things finally settled. However, they clearly kissed and made up because they were right back at it again the next night; sighs, moans, yells, and all.

Jumping the Gate in Luang Prabang, Laos

I spent nearly a week in the laid back city of Luang Prabang. I loved wandering the streets, stopping by the cafes, and hanging out at our hostel. It was one of those places where the people were friendly and I felt safe walking out on my own. But clearly I wasn’t exactly the safest in my bed as on my second last night I was woken up to shouting and heavy footsteps. The four of us sharing the dorm were all started when our door was swung open just after 1am by a hostel employee with a wooden club yelling at us to block the door behind him. Frantically, we checked the lock and pushed all of our bags in front of it. Then lay back down in the dark wondering what the hell was going on.

Turned out that some locals jumped the hostel gates and decided to try to rob the backpackers at night when everyone was sleeping. Obviously not the best idea because they were quickly chased away and, aside from a nasty fright, everyone was fine.

Yet, despite all of these awful (but clearly memorable) situations, I still love hostels and the good definitely outweighs these stories!

Do you have any of your own hostel horror stories? Share them below!

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